luckytroll: Wearing my old fave hat (funk)
( Nov. 26th, 2007 10:36 pm)
I arrived in Toronto by train. The last time I took the train, I felt a bone-jarring crack that resonated through the car as it passed over some point in the track somewhere between Toronto and Smiths Falls. Later that day, or early the next day, a freight train derailed in the same spot. I feel somewhat better armed. I still do not know what I should do if I should someday experience that resounding crack again.

I mean, making any sudden moves, alarmed comments, or concerned observations might get me tazered. Or profiled.

Which brings me to another of the two reasons I love trains. Despite their incredible speed while sitting ruefully still while giving way to ponderous freight traffic1, I think I would rather be in a derailment than a car crash, or air disaster - given a choice. Also desirable about trains is that you can still ride them without showing identification. They also allow you to bring vast quantities2 of toothpaste, liquor, dihydrogen monoxide, and cheetos on board. They also ply you with liquor in first class.

Todays work involved
4 hours : figuring out why license keys snagged from another server do not work on this one. Fighting with sales persons to acquire temporary keys, so that I can continue working.
3 hours : Installing software and configuring storage. Twice, because the first time inexplicably failed and left the server (in Kingston) unreachable.
1 hour : learning how to pronounce my new coworkers first name in a manner that would not cast aspersions on his gender, species, or homeworld.

This day was not the most exciting. Or fun.  A fun day would have involved building a Cannon designed for the sole purpose of firing those round hams you can buy in the grocery store. I still am unsure about the propellant, or the muzzle velocity required to get a frozen ham to easily punch through the plate glass window of a corner office on Bay street. Thirty or more stories up. That would be a heck of a day. And probably within the realm of spreading Xmas cheer. Assuming of course the offices assaulted with ham contained people who were permitted to eat pork. Provided they survived the shrapnel and debris from exploding office furniture.

Notes
  1.  In Ontario, passenger trains must give way to freight. This is because freight trains are obliged to travel faster than a speeding hobo. Stopping for passenger trains might actually allow said hobo to board the freight train, and, dog forbid, catch out to Vancouver.
  2.  According to Air Canada - and probably Rogers Internet, VAST is considered 100ml, 1Gbyte, or three lines of copyrighted lyrics from a non-Canadian artist - whichever is scanned first.
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